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EL EQUILIBRIO DE ARZAIUS

El que fuera líder indiscutible de los sabinos, Abiectus Arzaius, no ha querido ocultar su admiración por los fanáticos asesinos sabinos que, como el propio Arzaius, aspiran a que el reino de los sabinos renazca de sus cenizas y se sacuda el yugo de la opresión romana, usando, a falta de mejores argumentos, la amenaza, la extorsión, y el asesinato contra todos los que no están de acuerdo con el proyecto. Y hay que decir que este prodigio al que los sabinos aspiran excede en mérito al que se atribuye al ave Fénix, ya que éste al menos tuvo que existir con carácter previo a su renacimiento, mientras que los sabinos aspiran a hacer revivir a un ente que sólo ha existido en su imaginación.

Y es este Arzaius hombre de gesto adusto y modales destemplados, y tiene una prominente mandíbula inferior que le da un aire agresivo al tiempo que le proporciona cierto parecido con el personaje infantil Popóculus el marino. Y es Arzaius hombre de amplios conocimientos al que se atribuye la invención de la técnica de la división del trabajo, mediante la cuál unos agitan el árbol y otros recogen las nueces, incrementando notablemente el rendimiento global de la tarea. Es, además, hombre observador y dotado de excelente memoria, y, aunque parezca difícil de creer, es capaz de decir el nombre del fabricante de las bracarum que llevan sus más íntimos colaboradores debajo de sus togas. También, aunque esto no es inmediatamente deducible de su apariencia, parece ser aficionado al ejercicio físico, y acaba de retar al procónsul a un partido de pelota sabina, que éste parece ansioso por aceptar.

Pero quizás la mayor aportación realizada por Abiectus Arzaius esté en el campo del pensamiento político, pues es uno de los creadores, posiblemente junto con Tulio Medem, de la doctrina de la aequidistantia, máxima expresión de la ecuanimidad, la ponderación y la tolerancia, según la cual en toda relación entre opuestos la virtud se sitúa en el punto medio. Y así por ejemplo en la relación entre un asesino y su víctima, Arzallus se sitúa a medio camino entre la espalda que recibe la cuchillada y la mano que la propina, entendiendo el dolor y la satisfacción que se producen por ambas partes. Y esta doctrina es seguida con entusiasmo por el actual líder de los sabinos.

87 comentarios:

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Se cuenta que, a fuerza de insistir en el aequilibrium, la plebe confundió a algunos de estos ideólogos de la equidistancia con saltimbanquis. Así fueron llevados al Circo, para gran decepción de los romanos allí reunidos pues estas gentes no son capaces de acto meritorio alguno al margen de su verborrea que tanto aturde a quienes la escuchan.
También se dice que debieron huir de la turba enfurecida que se sentía estafada. Buscaron refugio en las dependencias del Imperio Romano al que tanto aseguran aborrecer.

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Ay, Olimpiodoro, que extraños tiempos en que los políticos devienen saltimbanquis mientras los saltimbanquis se dedican a opinar sobre política.

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Olimpiodoro, yo asistí a aquél espectáculo circense. Recuerdo cuando, ante la imposibilidad de que los políticos-saltimbanquis hicieran algo de provecho, fueron soltadas las fieras, y por primera vez Arzaius lo pasó mal. Pues su pretendido aequilibrium quiere decir que los que le gustan son los que matan, pero no queda bien admitirlo en público, pero ahora estaba con los que podían morir, y desde esa perspectiva las virtudes del aequilibrium entre su cuello y las fauces de los leones no eran tan fácilmente comprensibles.

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Lo que dices, Scévola, está muy entrado en razón. Porque la aequidistantia de Arzaius no es sino la exposición de sus preferencias matizadas por las exigencias de la etiqueta social. Si admitimos que socialmente no está muy bien visto declarar la simpatía por unos asesinos, y, a pesar de ello, Arzaius se sitúa a medio camino entre la víctima y el verdugo, debemos concluir que su simpatía real está mucho más cerca de este último.

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DOMINA CUPA dixit:

Es cierto que Arzaius tiene una visión de sí mismo como de César. Y al igual que Calígula se place con las escenas sangrientas. Sin embargo lo que el piensa que son gladiadores brindando por su espectáculo circense,(los que van a morir te saludan) no dejan de ser un grupo de ocagarrus medio beodos que interpretan una obra de teatro. Arzaius, como Nerón, suele acudir disfrazado a estas representaciones y azuza al público estimulando las riñas y sembrando confusión. No en vano, es uno de los scriptores de las obras que los ocagarrus suelen interpretar.

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Comentado mi postum con mi amada esposa Gala Algortensis, parece que al hablar de los saltimbanquis me refería a los actores y otros artistas del teatro que suelen mostrarse en el Foro apoyando desaforadamente al Emperador. Nada de eso. Hablaba de los simples saltimbanquis, los equilibristas que hacen volatines.
Los artistas escénicos forman otra fauna que merece largas crónicas.

Anónimo dijo...
Este comentario ha sido eliminado por un administrador del blog.
Callo Tácito dijo...

Pues espero, Olimpiodoro, que tengamos ocasión de hablar largo y tendido de los actores escénicos, como sin duda merecen. Trasmítele mis respetos a Gala Algortensis.

Domina Cupa, entre su afición por los gladiadores y su conocimiento de las prendas interiores de sus allegados, no se que pensar de este hombre.

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